Survival status

Modafinil

In a video, I showed all of my possessions. I accidentally left out the netbook I am currently using. I forgot about it because I had loaned for a week to it to another guest at the hostel who had his smart phone stolen and couldn’t connect to the internet. Even though the last time … Read more

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Suicide

Snow covered benches

If I were confident that the pain and degradation in my life would eventually end, if I knew exactly when it would end, and if I did not have to suffer like this for that much longer, then I believe I could get through this.

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If my arm were broken, you would help me carry things

Google index chart

My medical conditions–depression, generalized anxiety disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, and panic disorder–prevent me from accomplishing some tasks that I would easily be able to accomplish if I were healthy. Among the many things that I have not been able to accomplish, if I had help accomplishing one of them, I would immediately start earning more money. My life will not improve with help from other people.

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Some improvements

Modafinil

I bought two weeks of modafinil, and it is already helping me. Combined with the positive effects of the alprazolam, the whole of the effects is greater than the sum of the effects of the individual medicines.

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Shopping and struggling

My depression was especially severe today but I found strength from an unusual source and I accomplished some goals.

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A small dose of alprazolam and I am much better

Benzodiazepine molecule

Because of the war on drugs and because we under serve the health care needs of poor people, I have been unable to get the medicine I need. After I was able to get one more medicine I need, the positive effects on my life were immediate and dramatic.

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