If my arm were broken, you would help me carry things

My life has been broken for a long time now, and it has been getting worse because I have medical problems that are not being treated. Some people are helping me, but as my conditions get worse, I need more help.

Despite my major disabilities, I have been working as hard as I can to fix my life, especially to generate an income. With enough money, I could get medical treatment and I could fix my life. There are some simple things that people can do to help me get back on my feet.

Google index chart

The above chart illustrates some of the work I have accomplished despite my depression, my generalized anxiety disorder, my post-traumatic stress disorder, my horrifying experience in the United Kingdom, and the panic disorder that it created. I can accomplish a lot more if some people will merely do the equivalent of helping me lift heavy boxes.

I have made many changes to my website and added many pages. As of today, Google has indexed 44,239 pages on my website, hunterthinks.com. (If a page is “indexed” then it can appear in search results; if it is not indexed, then it will never be in search results.) I estimate that I currently have 360,000 pages that Google could index. As you can see from the graph, it takes time for Google to add pages to the index. One of my goals is to convert content that I already have, such as photographs, into web pages on my website. Converting content is much easier than creating content, and if I were able to do this, I estimate that Google would eventually index 567,000 pages.

Because Google has increased its index of my pages and because of other work I have done, the traffic to my website is steadily increasing, and nearly all of the new traffic coming from Google searches.

Google Analytics sessions

The above graph shows that the number of people visiting my website each week has doubled in the last three months. (A session is one person visiting the website; it does not reflect how many pages they viewed.) My traffic could increase at a much faster rate if people would merely help me accomplish some things that I cannot accomplish because of my medical conditions.


The best part about my website traffic is that only half of it comes from the United States. My strategy of using machine translation on all of my web pages is attracting users from all of the world. The population of the United States is 300 million, but the world population is 7 billion: my strategy makes it possible for me to have a much larger audience than if I only focused on English speakers.

My increase in traffic and ability to reach international markets is incredible because I have only been able to focus on Google for search engine traffic.


Yandex is the major search engine for Russia and most countries of the former Soviet Union and the former soviet block. I have done a little work on Yandex, but it has not been enough to generate traffic from those countries. Baidu is the major search engine in China, which has 1.4 billion people. I have done almost no work at all to get traffic from there but still get some traffic from China and Baidu. With some relatively simple tasks, I could dramatically increase my international traffic.

One of the worst things is that I have already implemented an advertising system, but because something is misconfigured, every day, I am not earning money on most of the ads served on my website. I have setup a great system for displaying ads next to photographs, and the photographs get hundreds of views every day.

Banner advertisement example

The advertisements are displaying, but I am not getting credit for most of the displays, so when people click on the advertisements, I do not make any money. Each time an advertisement is displayed, it is called an “impression”. Since I know that my photographs get hundreds of views each day, I should have hundreds of impressions every day. As you can see in the graph below, I have only received credit for 101 impressions, total, in the last two months.

DoubleClick impressions

This is the probably the best example of why I need help. If I were healthy, I would have already fixed this problem. A normal, healthy person can carry a large box into the house, but with a broken arm and a cast that immobilizes the elbow, the person needs help carrying the box: the person needs help accomplishing a normally easy task. I have enough knowledge and experience that I could certainly figure out what problem is preventing me from making money from these banner ads. Every time I have tried to work on it, however, my depression and/or my anxiety overwhelm me. Not only do my symptoms prevent me from fixing this problem, but when I get overwhelmed, I cannot do anything else that is productive.

I feel helpless and weak and absurd. I do not understand why this particular issue triggers my symptoms. I do not know how to overcome my symptoms so that I can fix this banner problem on my website. The result is that even though I have worked my ass off to get traffic to my website, and to display banner advertisements, I am not making any money from my effort.

If no one is willing to help me, I do not know how long it will take me to overcome my medical problems to fix this computer problem. I have not talked about this computer problem even though I have been struggling with it for two months because I am extremely embarrassed by my weaknesses. If I were healthy, my website would already be generating money for me. I would not be rich, but I would be able to afford food and housing and maybe even medicine. My depression and anxiety, however, prevent me from accomplishing tasks that would normally be easy for me, and I feel broken, weak, isolated, and ashamed.

I have begged for help with specific tasks before, but I only received help with one or two things. I have no idea what I am supposed to do so that people will help me overcome the symptoms of my medical problems the same way people would help me overcome the symptoms of a broken arm.

I am working hard: the above graphs are evidence of that. My medical conditions are not improving, though, and without more help, I cannot recover.

Please teach me how to properly ask for help. The above example requires some technical knowledge to help me, but I have hundreds of tasks that I have been unable to accomplish (because of my medical problems) that do not require technical knowledge. Anyone who is skilled enough to get on the internet and read this blog post is skilled enough to help me in some way. Email me or otherwise contact me if you can teach me how to talk about this or if you will help me.

For people who do not have the time to help me with specific tasks, a very little money from you is a huge help for me. A few friends send me a few dollars each week so I can eat and not be homeless. But I need more help to buy medicine so that I can heal. Of course, I also have not learned how to properly ask people for financial help. Part of me does not want to learn to be good at begging for help: I don’t want to live as a beggar. If you can help me with a little cash so that I can escape from this poverty, click here.

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