Progress and obstacles
Things are better than a few weeks ago and a few months ago. The major reason things are better is that I have more help.
Anxiety
Howie Mandel: Everyone needs help coping at sometime
This America’s Got Talent contestant told the judges she has anxiety disorder and depression. Howie Mandel, one of the judges, suffers from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), which is a specific kind of anxiety disorder. The contestant and Mandel have been able to succeed because of the help of others. Humans are social animals: “Either we … Read more
Why Monster Energy Drink helps my mood
I have known for at least 15 years that caffeine helps my mood. Sometime between six and eight years ago, I wanted a ton of caffeine for both my mood and to focus on studying, so I tried a Monster Energy Drink. I was surprised how much it helped my mood and I have often … Read more
Take these pills, call me in two weeks
When doctors give patients a medication for depression or anxiety, they tell them to wait two weeks before deciding the medication does not work. I have never understood that advice because I have always responded, or not responded, to medication within two days. Two days ago, I started two new medications because it was impossible … Read more
Some progress
Two months ago, my laptop stopped working. I was finally able to get the motherboard replaced, and the computer will turn on now but the video is not working. I am still troubleshooting the video problem but my intuition tells me that I will need to replace some other part of the laptop to get … Read more
Priority: mental health
I am not sure why I need to explain this, but apparently it is necessary: for many months, my primary goal has been to heal. I need safety, security, and stability to heal, and that includes food and shelter. I have had to spend a lot of time trying to make sure I had food … Read more
Tough love
This is painful to write about because it is painful to think about, which is why I must write about it. I regularly rediscover that when I write about things and send them away, then my mind can let go of the thoughts. I need to let go of this thought because it is too … Read more
Anxiety
Despite having some anxiety medication (and lots of side effects), it took me over 24 hours to overcome my anxiety and face the “horrible” things in the common area, like children, and get to the computer to try to do something, anything, for my life. I do not know what to say. “game over; I … Read more
The paradox of the arrow and the target
If you shoot an arrow at a target, then after some amount of time, it will be half way to the target. After another amount of time, it will be half-way closer again. And again, and again, and again. It is always possible to find some amount of time that measures covering half the remaining … Read more
Coffins at the hospital
A couple of weeks ago, I tried to get help at the embassy and when that didn’t work, I went to the hospital where I had previously been assured I would get help if I needed it. I didn’t get all the help I needed, but I did get some medicine. When I left last … Read more