- Foreigner: US citizen in Mexico
- Sick: the correct diagnosis is dysfunctional (hypo-active) 5-HT2A receptors, which presents with some symptoms of depression, some symptoms of generalized anxiety disorder, and some symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (നിര്ബാധം)
- Desperately poor
- Asking for help
- Speak intermediate Spanish
- No friends or family in Mexico
- No help from family
- Harm and abuse from family
I am tring to earn money
I offer English lessons
I made and displayed the sign above on 21 October 2018. I used the sign for three days. മെക്സിക്കോയിൽ, mobile phone services do not charge internet access fees if the person is accessing WhatsApp, a popular messaging application. To send a message to someone, you need their telephone number. Many people were interested in my service and kept asking for my WhatsApp number, therefore, I wrote it on the sign. Any person could record my number or take a photo of the sign.
I’m desperate, so I offer to trade for things I need
എന്റെ feet are cold, and my illness is strongly interfering with my life. ദി rain soaks me and some of my equipment in a place I should have been protected from the rain. ഒരു man stalks me. I’m desperate, so I try a different method. I offer to trade (“Cambio”) my skills for things that I need. I list some of my skills, and I list some things I need.
I list the things I most need at the top. (In the picture above, I put a red mark next to the three things I needed most.) I need to trim my beard, bathe, and do laundry. Because I am homeless and always have a large backpack with me, how I look and how I smell have a large impact on how people treat me, so yes, those three things were the most important on that day.
വീണ്ടും, people are interested. And I write my WhatsApp number on the sign. Some people simply helped me with the things I needed.
I receive WhatsApp messages from a stranger
24 October 2018
8:38 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Name Missing: Hola
8:38 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Name Missing: Hablas español? O sólo inglés ?
9:11 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Cazador: With online translators, my Spanish is much improved, especially when the person writing to me uses strict grammar, diacritics, and punctuation.
Otherwise, when I speak Spanish, I sound like a three-year-old boy who cannot conjugate properly or use articles properly.
9:11 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Cazador: Con los traductores en línea, mi español ha mejorado mucho, especialmente cuando la persona que me escribe usa gramática estricta, signos diacríticos y puntuación.
De lo contrario, cuando hablo español, sueno como un niño de tres años que no puede conjugar correctamente o usar artículos correctamente.
9:28 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Name Missing: Entiendo
9:28 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Name Missing: This message was deleted
9:29 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Name Missing: ¿Qué
10:02 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Cazador: Voy a inventar mi medicamento, entonces puedo darte una lista. Además, no puedo decirle de tu perfil que eres.
10:13 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Name Missing: I don’t understand
10:13 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Name Missing: Can you reply in
10:29 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Cazador: Las letras clasifican los artículos de la mayor prioridad a más baja.
10:32 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Cazador: I needed to inventory my medicines, so I could tell you which ones I needed. And I can’t tell from your profile who you are and WhatsApp does not send your name to me.
10:43 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Name Missing: My name is Jesús
10:43 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Name Missing: Can you see my profile photo?
10:45 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Name Missing: Can you send a photo of you?
10:48 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Name Missing: Do you smoke?
10:48 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Name Missing: Weed or
10:50 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Name Missing: I can help you with some things
11:12 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Cazador: “Name Missing: Can you see my profile photo?”
സമ്മതം, but it’s only a silhouette of you.
11:17 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Cazador: “Name Missing: Can you send a photo of you?”
11:21 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Cazador: “Name Missing: Do you smoke?”
11:24 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Cazador: “Name Missing: Weed or
Weed might help cure one of my medical problems. പക്ഷേ [if I am around] the smoke[, അത്] gives me a terrible headache. I’ve never eaten it, so I don’t know what side effects I would get from eating it. [ ]
11:24 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Cazador: “Name Missing: I can help you with some things”
11:33 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Jesús: Where are you?
11:38 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Cazador: I live [ഇവിടെ]. I’m still confused: have we met?
11:39 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Jesús: Sure
11:39 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Jesús: Can you come
11:42 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Jesús: I’m
11:44 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Jesús: I took your ad number
11:57 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Jesús: Are you
I don’t know who he is
At the time, I didn’t know why he wanted me to send him a picture of me because if he saw my sign, he must have seen me. ഞാൻ വീടില്ലാത്ത സുഖമാണ്, I’m destitute, I haven’t made money, I don’t have enough support, and I’m desperate. I couldn’t waste time quibbling about a photo, so I took a selfie and sent it to him.
He changed his profile picture from the silhouette to the photo below. (I don’t have access to his first profile picture.)
When he told me his name, I created a Contact entry and stored his name and phone number. I looked at his new profile picture and I tried to think of everyone I had talked to about English lessons. In the Notes section of his contact entry, ഞാൻ എഴുതി, “October 24th. He saw my sign advertising English lessons. I still have no idea who he is.”
I try to learn more about him
25 October 2018
7:33 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Cazador: ഉന്നത. Homelessness makes life less stable. Hence, the delay.
7:34 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Cazador: “Jesús: I took your ad number”
Ah, I see. That’s cool, actually.
7:39 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Cazador: “Jesús: I’m live with my couple”
I don’t understand the word “couple” in this sentence. If I understand Spanish well enough, some people call their boyfriend, girlfriend husband wife
7:40 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Cazador: “Jesús: Can you come here ?”
Possibly. Where is it?
8:33 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Jesús: “Cazador: Possibly. Where is it?”
The name street is “[വയ, ഡാൻ ഹോഗൻ Blvd.] #506″ you can say that to the taxi
8:33 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Jesús: When you can come ?
8:59 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Cazador: “Jesús: The name street is “[വയ, ഡാൻ ഹോഗൻ Blvd.] #506″ you can say that to the taxi”
No taxi, but Google maps should work.
I’m confused and wary
I transposed two letters: the correct spelling is “pareja.” In Mexican Spanish, this is an anomalous word because the same word is used to refer to a man or a woman.
26 October 2018
12:18 രാവിലെ – Jesús: Do you have
1:10 രാവിലെ – Cazador: Hahahahaha 😂
1:10 രാവിലെ – Cazador: You saw everything I own.
1:22 രാവിലെ – Jesús: No no
1:22 രാവിലെ – Jesús: I say that because you say you can use Google maps
1:31 രാവിലെ – Cazador: Oh, OK. Google Maps includes walking directions.
He tries to be more casual and friendly
3:19 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Jesús: Oh, I understand
3:19 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Jesús: I think is a little far to walk
3:20 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Jesús: What’s your
3:32 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Cazador: “Jesús: What’s your name ?”
3:34 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Cazador: [A link to Google Maps showing the address he gave me.]
3:34 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Cazador: There?
5:02 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Jesús: “Cazador: Cazador”
5:03 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Jesús: സമ്മതം, there is
5:19 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Cazador: “Jesús: It’s a nick name ?”
My Spanish name
5:53 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Jesús: Can I know your real
6:02 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Cazador: Cazador is a more real name than any other name. I know it is strange and it may be difficult to understand. My life is strange and difficult to understand.
My name is Cazador.
6:17 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Jesús: Yes it is haha
6:17 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Jesús: It’s ok
6:18 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Jesús: Maybe I can call you “Caz”
He arrives without warning
Before I could respond to the last three messages, he is standing in front of me with a big smile that means, “Surprise!” ഞാൻ വീടില്ലാത്ത സുഖമാണ്, so I am sitting in a public place and I don’t have privacy, എങ്കിലും, he intentionally arrived without telling me he was coming here. He was wearing a uniform from a nearby restaurant where he works. His spoken English is horrible. The conclusion: I would travel with him in a taxi after he got off work. At his house, I could use his electric clippers on my beard, bathe, and do laundry. His shift might end at 8 pm or 10 PM.
He continues the poor communication
7:58 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Cazador: 8 അഥവാ 10 p.m.?
8:08 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Cazador: Do you drive, take a taxi, or take the bus when you go home?
8:37 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Cazador: Can I use the bathroom at your workplace?
8:41 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Jesús: Are you there at
8:44 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Cazador: At this moment, I am sitting in the Alcove. I need to use a bathroom. I believed that you were working until 10 p.m. tonight. I believed that at 10 p.m. tonight, we were going to travel together to your house.
9:36 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Jesús: സമ്മതം
9:37 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Jesús:
9:37 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Jesús: I can’t use the bathroom here
9:37 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Jesús: Sorry
9:55 പ്രധാനമന്ത്രി – Cazador: Okay, I’m in a slightly different place it’s just one block north. And I will wait for you here.
His offers to help were overly “optimistic”
He arrived with his boyfriend: surprise! We get a taxi. I might not be able to do laundry because someone else has a lot of laundry. We arrive. I immediately ask about timetables, especially what time we are leaving the morning. 10 am.
I use the electric clippers: excellent. To bathe, they heat a bucket of water, have a bucket of cold water, and a cup. I wash my face and upper torso: an improvement. Laundry was never a possibility. They bought some food and we ate: that was very good. They offered to let me sleep in the bed with them. I declined and set up my sleeping equipment in the other room as far as possible from them.
Jesús then told me that in the morning, he and Alan were going to run errands at 8 am then go to work. He told me that I did not need to get up early. He would give me money for the taxi so I could go back to where I was. He said he wanted me to have a relaxing morning. That is great. He gave me deodorant, which I hadn’t asked for but I happened to be very low: great. He gave me some crappy vitamin B: still useful.
This is not what I wanted
I slept very well because I did not have to be vigilant against thieves, rain, പോലീസ്, harassment, or anything: wonderful. Around 8 am, I wake up because Jesús has his hand on the outside of my pants rubbing my penis. Before I am even fully awake, I push his hand away. He smiles sweetly and says in a gentle voice, “We must go soon.”
It was shortly after 8 am, so I expected Jesús and Alan to leave imminently. I took my morning set of medicines. They would leave soon. I would rest, pack, and leave. I was upset about him groping me when I was asleep, but when a person is homeless, they will eventually be sexually assaulted. A few years ago, ഒരു മനുഷ്യൻ എന്റെ ക്യാമ്പ്സൈറ്റുണ്ടോ എത്തി, walked up to me, pulled out his penis, and moved closer to me. I had a camping knife and I scared him away. (All of my knives and multitools have been stolen or lost.) About two years ago, I was very sick (probably food poisoning) ഒപ്പം while I slept a man rubbed my penis, over my clothes, similar to what Jesús did to me. I also chased off that man with my camping knife. ഞാൻ വീടില്ലാത്ത സുഖമാണ്, therefore, ഞാന് will be robbed, attacked, and sexually assaulted.
I didn’t wake up fully, and I fell asleep again before they left. I was in a deep sleep again, and Jesús assaulted me again. Before I could fully wake up, I grabbed his wrist, threw it away from me, and forcefully said, “Stop!” I was not going back to sleep before they left.
Now that I was awake and not going back to sleep, I learn that Jesús had lied about the errands. He had also lied about me leaving after they left. I hurriedly packed in a crappy way. They hailed a taxi, gave me money, and I left. They didn’t even intend to go to work at 10 am as they had previously said.
To you, I am garbage
I used to prosecute sexual offenders. I used to help victims get restraining orders against their perpetrators. ദി “he said/she said” myth that many people and police believe: I personally discussed it with most of the full-time officers in my jurisdiction, and I changed their minds. They were more serious and diligent with sexual violence cases because of my actions. I had extra training for sexual violence cases.
One attempted sexual assault and two successful sexual assaults. പക്ഷേ, why would you care? You expend more effort dealing with your garbage and recycling than you expend trying to support my recovery. You spend more money on garbage and sewage services than you spend helping to protect me. Our society doesn’t have a sexual violence problem: we have a “Why would I fucking care?” പ്രശ്നം.
Through your apathy or refusal to be associated with me, you have helped transform me from a protector and preventer of sexual violence into just another sexual assault victim.
If I am wrong, അപ്പോള് support my recovery with monthly assistance so I can again use my skills to reduce sexual violence.