Note to self—from six years ago
I found a six-year-old document in which, I evaluated my situation and options at the time. It is interesting to see what has changed and what has not changed.
Deathwish
I’m suicidal, dirt poor, and asking for help: what will you do?
Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain killed themselves. Everyone says, “Ask for help. You are not alone!” I need help, I am alone, and I feel suicidal: you say I am lying.
Your suicide prevention hashtag and suicide hotline are killing people
No credible study has found evidence that a suicide hotline reduces the overall suicide rate. In fact, some scientific studies have found that suicide hotlines increase the suicide rate.Do something useful: donate. Do something useful: tell other people to donate. Stop harming people by spreading lies about suicide hotlines.
Why should I even try?
Despair and hopelessness are the same feeling. It causes me to doubt myself with questions such as, “Why try?” and, “What’s the point?” Struggling against those feelings so I can do things is ever-present. To overcome the feelings, I use rationality, “You should try to ask for help because people have promised to help you.” … Read more
Extortion by Facebook; hopelessness; suicidal thoughts increasing
Facebook wants me to pay them to communicate with you. My life is horrible.
I woke up: not that I am happy about it
Emails I sent briefly explaining that I cannot take any more.
Hundreds of my ideas shared; trying to write about a major issue
Over the past month, I have shared hundreds of my ideas ranging from physics to climate change to computing to business to law to labor to domestic violence to social reform to photography. The ideas I shared were only the ideas that I already had written in a format that was easy to convert to … Read more