I’m at zero. I bought 30 days of alprazolam. If I’m lucky, I’ll see improvements over the next three days. I bought four days of modafinil. I need to buy more on Monday for the best price.

I owe the hostel for at least one week. I don’t think I have enough money to pay them everything I owe them. My perception is that they intentionally give me extra leniency. This small reduction of pressure has a large impact on my life. (To the extent that my existence is a “life.”)

I ate a small breakfast. I have a small dinner with me. I don’t have more money for food.

I used to have a small amount of money to use for a one-way ticket: if I were to run out of everything, then I would buy a bus ticket to a small town where I can die in peace. I took a risk and spent the money on materials to improve the pendulum wave. It’s not finished, I don’t have any strength, and I haven’t recouped any of the money.

I don’t know what will happen tomorrow.

We can cure my illness and my poverty if you support my recovery.

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