To stay sick, I need MXN$191.67 (US$10.36) a day just for medicines. To heal, I need MXN$5100 total for medicines, which is less than the cost of 27 days of being sick. That is a compelling reason to support my recovery.

Another reason to support my recovery is that I am miserable. I hate being alive. For over six years, I have thought to myself, “I wish I were dead,” every day. I want people to support my recovery and not merely support my current, nightmarish life and condemn me to live in unspeakable pain.

Of course, suffering is not a compelling reason to help a person. Money is compelling.

Path comparison

	Path of sickness	Path of healing
Coping medicines	$191.67 a day	$0.00
Vitamins & amino acids	$36.80 a day	$36.80 a day
Healing medicines	Not applicable	$5100 total, < 27 days
Quality of life	Endless misery & pain	30+ days of terror
Life expectancy	43 years (I’m 43)	77 years
Ability to work	No	Yes, a lot
Lodging	Limited to 1 room in 1 hotel $250/night	Almost anywhere
Friends and relationships	No, I’m “irritable”	Yes, I’m “gentle”
Food costs (money & time)	High	Reasonable
Quality of diet	Unhealthy	Probably healthy
Risk of theft	High: Robbed over 22 times	Normal
Risk of assault	High: at least three incidents	Normal
Risk of sexual assault	High: three incidents	Normal

The balance sheet

Assets

I have US$64.34 (MXN$1190.29) and MXN$112.50. $1190.29 + $112.50 = $1302.79. I have 0.5 liters of milk and 288 calories of amino acids to mix in the milk, but no other food.

Liabilities

Today, I need to buy modafinil, venlafaxine, three amino acids, and bupropion. $748 + $129 + $314.76 + $289 = $1480.76.

The bottom line: I’m in the red

$1302.79 – $1480.76 = -177.97 and a protein drink.

Supporting my recovery is less expensive than supporting my suffering.