Survival status: better than reality TV

Hunter Hogan
I’m so pretty.

Serotonin withdrawal syndrome symptoms: excessive sweating, today I cannot sleep because of the other symptoms, intense vertigo, ringing in my ears, a slight feeling that my body is floating, a dull ache through my whole body, and brain zaps are regular enough that it reminds me of a drum beat.

I don’t remember what hope feels like. This ain’t living. I found an email from 3 June 2012, and I wrote that I wished I were dead–the pain was too much even back then. I can slightly understand those who see my pain but turn away. I cannot understand those who see suffering in other people, continue to watch, but do nothing. I would rather live–and die–like this than to 见死不救 [jiàn sǐ bù jiù] (see death but do nothing).

My mother often says, “Be careful what you wish for because you might get it.

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