My situation is dire, and I still don’t know what to do, but until I find a better idea, I will aspire to the following:
Each day, I will do one task to improve each of the major issues in my life:
- A safe place to sleep
- Food to eat
- Mental health
- Physical health
When I was self-employed, I discovered that if I vigilantly had a day of rest each week, then I was more productive during the rest of the week. In law school (and since then), though, I have not maintained that pattern: I work until I drop, or fall asleep at my computer usually. I will aspire to give myself permission to have one day of rest each week, but I doubt I will be able to do that immediately. We shall see.
More specifically, because I very much want to leave the past in the past, I will put a lot of effort into dealing with my PTSD and its cause: the ARDC and the people and events related to that nightmare that is still not over. I wish I had professional help (therapy) to deal with this, and trying to find professional help will count as a task on my “Mental health” list (above). Until then, I will have to figure this out on my own.
In some ways, this is a terrible plan because I have no clue how I will survive. On the other hand, I’ve been spent months trying to find plans that would give me more security, and all of my attempts have failed. Even going to the hospital failed. It seems that lack of security, lack of sureness or lack of predictability, must be part of my plan rather than something I fight against.
