It’s time to inventory my medicines. I use the Medisafe app to schedule my medications so I can reduce biochemistry peaks and valleys. The effect is fantastic. It has real-time auto-updating inventory, and it exports reports. The process of having to keep an exact inventory, calculate how much money I need, beg on the streets, and beg online cost me about five hours today. If I didn’t have to beg for money so regularly, I would be able to spend a lot more time improving my life. Poverty is expensive. Please, please, please, send me a small amount of money on a schedule. Please. Please, I’m cold, in pain, and miserable. Please.

What I have

1. Antacid/antigas (500 mg), as needed, 0.5 pills
2. Clonazepam (2 mg), every day, 3 times a day, 34.25 pills, see notes, below
3. Indomethacin (75 mg), as needed, 14 pills, see notes, below
4. Loperamide (2 mg), as needed, 6 pills left
5. Modafinil (200 mg), every day, 3 times a day, 5 pills left = 2 days
6. Ranitidine (150 mg), every day, once a day, 14 pills left, see notes, below
7. Venlafaxine (75 mg), every day, twice a day, 44 pills
8. Vitamin B100 Complex HP Tablet, every day, twice a day, 21 pills
9. Wellbutrin SR (150 mg), every day, 3 times a day, 22 pills = 7 days

Nothing left

1. Alprazolam (2 mg), every day, 4 times a day
2. Ibuprofen or naproxen sodium, as needed
3. Loratadine (10 mg), every day, once a day
4. Omeprazole (20 mg), every day, once a day
5. Valium (10 mg), every day, twice a day

Notes about forced changes

I have been less productive because I have been out of alprazolam for a long time because it is a source of dopamine. With the medicine, I might have salvaged the situation with the community that was helping me. I could have earned MXN$1000 by editing an academic paper, but I was unable to finish: I would have accomplished more with alprazolam. Poverty is a trap: I’m too poor to treat my symptoms and have security, so when I have a chance to make money, I am less capable of earning money. I ran out of diazepam yesterday. I am substituting clonazepam for both: it is less effective and has more side effects.

Indomethacin is an inferior NSAID and substituting for ibuprofen or naproxen.

Modafinil: when I miss just one dose, my life is worse. If I run out, I don’t know what will happen.

Omeprazole: I ran out yesterday. I took ranitidine this morning instead. It is inferior, and my stomach hurts right now.

Wellbutrin (bupropion) is the medicine I recently added that has made it possible to for me to try to teach English (nothing yet) and to try to edit a paper. If I run out of it, I will be catatonic again. The cheapest price is on Monday, so I should buy it this Monday before I run out.

Loratadine helps me to cope with the car exhaust. I have had a non-stop cough for longer than I can remember.

Begging and shame

Please support my recovery by sending a little money on a schedule.

I’m miserable every day. Please, far away, I have friends, my family is abusive and has the ability to help me but they have said they want me to suffer, and local people float in and out of my life, but I have been isolated and extremely lonely for five years. Please help me to escape this hell, please. Please.