I played Tyrant, an online game, to try to cope with my life. But it is a social game, all societies have inequities, and I am compelled to fix inequities. A moth drawn to the flame and then consumed by it.
When I played, I often wrote about problems in the game’s subculture. Some people agreed, others disagreed. In what seems to be a universal condition, the people who disagreed were more vocal and more hateful than those who agreed. The people who disagreed created an atmosphere in which it was dangerous to openly agree with me. But in private emails, chats, or smaller chat rooms, people regularly expressed their support for me. Some of those are below.
[Private chat message, 21 April 2013]: cool dude well imma step away but I wanted to tell ya I respect the heck outta ya man, keep on doin ur thing, **** what the haters think. later dude
9 May 2013, league chat room
Email from 21 September 2013, after I announced I was likely quitting the game
Thanks for the kind words; no offense taken, I agree that with the other posts gone mine would only distract from the topic (I started writing it a couple minutes after aquaquake posted, and only after posting saw your post briefly before mods arrived to clean up the thread). I’m not sure quite where an appropriate place to repost would be, but if it seems suited to another topic I’d be happy to do so.
On another note, while I’m not a fast writer and so usually refrain from posting or pming too much, I’d like to at least mention my respect and appreciation for virtually every post of yours that I’ve been fortunate enough to come across on the forums; apart from always being articulate and thoughtful, they’ve also helped a great deal in clarifying some ideas and experiences that had been difficult to accurately characterize or express beforehand. Although it’s always hard to tell when and how, hopefully that will come back to you in some way in the future; whether by chance, human nature, or something else, it often seems to me that kindness tends to repay the selfless owner in unexpected ways (a comforting thought amidst the caprice and impersonality of many everyday social interactions).
Best wishes in facing the challenges in your life; I can’t understand your full situation or everything you’ve been through, but at least in my experience the humility and insight your posts reflect only come through learning from hardships. Hopefully one day (if this hasn’t already happened) those challenges will become easier to manage, and in the meantime thank you for having the courage and taking the time to share the benefits of your experiences so that others can learn from them as well.
When I wrote, I usually wrote long posts, usually called text walls. From 22 September 2013:
[Private chat message]: Since I have you here, I wanted to also say that while I don’t post much on the forums, I appreciate that you spend a lot of time and effort to dump your thoughts on improving the game we play
…
[Private chat message from same person]: I read most of what you post.. the full walls, because even though it’s time consuming, it’s generally a worthwhile read
When I did announce I was quitting, many people said some nice things, including the publisher of the game. The Last Text Wall
