This page lacks cohesion, which is exactly why it exists. I want to heal and build a new life, and this page describes some of the obstacles I face and how you can help me overcome those obstacles. The lack of cohesion in the page, and why the page is a mishmash, is a good analogy for my life right now.
On this page
- Support me with actions
- Why I need help with tasks
- A support network of actions, skills, and tasks
- This is an incomplete document
- Some notes about ways of helping me
- My most immediate needs
- Some impending needs
- What am I doing right now? ⇒
- Temporary financial help ⇒
Support me with actions
Posted: 26 February 2014
Why I need help with tasks
The embedded Facebook post below describes why I need help with specific tasks.
A support network of actions, skills, and tasks
The following list is raw: I originally made it as notes for myself. Instead of waiting until I found the strength to make it prettier, I am posting it now.
- Publicly express support for me
- Tell people things like:
- That my current mental health status is not typical of my life: that I am disabled and need help
- Why I am worthy of help (and a follow-up story) (And two short posts by other people, but ability to view is limited: first and second.)
- How people can help me, with very little effort, without spending money, or by only giving a small amount of money
- Take credit for the ways that you help me
- Like my Facebook page
- Invite friends to learn my story
- Share pages that you think are interesting
- Tell people things like:
- Project management
- Managing money across borders
- Healers
- When I hit an emotional barrier, help me connect with the right resource to get past the barrier
- Help me find the professional help I need
- Help me discover what environment is healthy for me
- Help me find and implement a healthy environment
- Computer technology skills
- HTML/CSS
- JavaScript
- Website administration
- APIs
- Flickr
- PayPal
- Dwolla
- AddThis
- Google products?
- TinyPNG?
- Search Engine tools: Google, Bing, Baidu, Yandex
- Bitly?
- Twitter?
- Programming/ scripting to make mass modifications and transformations to datasets
- Skills/ knowledge about cryptocurrencies to evaluate if I can could earn money from mining, and if so, to help elevate my skills so that I can implement mining
- Data security, redundancy, and privacy, for my computer, my website, and information on other websites
- Public communications
- Writing
- Editing
- Public relations
- Bilingual editors to train automated translation software; the goal is high automation with extremely-little manual translation
- Technical writing to document website and web-technology information so that anyone working on things related to hunterthinks.com will know what the features are
- Legal knowledge to be able to explain some legal issues
- Psychology/ psychiatric/ pharmacy knowledge to be able to explain some mental health issues
- Fund-raising while I need it
- Visual arts
- Photograph editing
- Graphic design
- Visual design within HTML/CSS framework
- Add visual elements, like photos, charts, tables, and diagrams to pages
- Moderators: prevent and delete spam, help manage difficult people, make sure that good messages get attention
This is an incomplete document
Posted: 17 January 2014
Updated: 26 February 2014
As I was writing today, 17 January 2014, I started with an unusual amount of energy and focus. I suddenly became aware, however, that my emotional strength was rapidly fading. I decided to use my remaining strength to simply post my raw notes from Microsoft OneNote. The notes are incomplete, not organized, and are a tool to help me write a real webpage: this is not the format I would use for a finished product. Creating a new page on my site requires multiple steps, and my writing and quality control is horrific right now because my strength is fading. Based on past experience, if I post an incomplete page, I am more likely to return to it and incrementally improve it than if I do not post anything at all.
Some notes about ways of helping me
- Money (some things simply require cash)
- Knowledge (friends and strangers have given me life-saving knowledge, literally life-saving)
- Coordination and communication: ironically, for someone to help me, it often requires tremendous time and effort from me. I had a very kind offer to help me scan thousands of pages of documents, for example, but I was unable to use that resource because sorting the documents (into scan and do-not-scan piles) took me months because of my lack of strength. I finally sorted them all, and I was ready to mail them, but I had to throw them in the garbage when I found out that there was not a post office or kiosk at the Los Angeles airport. This is just one example of many times when my disorder symptoms prevented me from utilizing an offer of help. Even worse is that when I ask for help, someone offers the help, and then I fail to utilize the help, it alienates other people: my actions unintentionally say, "I do not value your offer or you." And then I feel guilty, which feeds my disorders. There are ways people can help me coordinate various offers to help, however, and that could have dramatic effects on my life, and replace my bad message with, "I appreciate your help, I value you, and your action is helping my life."
- 11 large books with small print; in December 2013, I had enough money for food and shelter to survive, but I entered an unsustainable cycle of not eating that would have killed me before I ran out of money. I am not 100% sure what changed, but I eat more often now, so I doesn’t look like I will starve to death with 1000 Egyptian Pounds on the night stand next to my head. Nevertheless, I still do not eat enough or take care of my body well enough, so my path is still unsustainable, but not as dramatically destructive. I believe that the small improvement resulted from multiple people independently expressing that they valued me, which is the definition of esteem from others. This is not a panacea for my life, but if you, my reader, ever feel or think, "I liked what Hunter just wrote", then the small act of expressing it (share my writing, comment on it, email me, or anything) currently has a disproportionately large, and positive, impact on my life.
Be quick to compliment and slow to criticize.
My most immediate needs
- 50 EGP—Food budget each day
- 50 EGP—Furnished dorm-style lodging and internet, per night
- Medicine:
- Provigil: unknown cost. In December 2013, I cut my dosage in half so that I wouldn’t run out as quickly. I took my last pill on 4 March 2014. Provigil is important because it gives me willpower to do things I want to do but that my depression and/or anxiety and/or PTSD symptoms prevent me from doing. I have not been able to do the research on how I would acquire it here in Cairo or how much it would cost.
- Lorazepam or diazepam: unknown cost. Similar to Provigil, I have been taking a reduced dosage of my lorazepam since at least December 2013 to preventing running out. At normal dosage, I would run out in few days. I ration it by not taking it as often or by attempting to substitute alprazolam. Alprazolam is a poor substitute when I need lorazepam, however, because I am extremely sensitive to the side effects of alprazolam and if I take too much, I will involuntarily fall asleep. As little as 0.5mg can force me to sleep. I have the alprazolam for very specific anxiety symptoms, and when I have those symptoms, alprazolam helps me without forcing me to sleep. Lorazepam or diazepam do not cause me to sleep but do help my anxiety. Similar to Provigil, I have not researched prices, prescription requirements, or pharmacies in Cairo.
- Dental work: unknown cost. I haven’t been able to afford to go to the dentist since June 2006. I did not have dental insurance during law school or at my job after law school. I’ve been embarrassed to post photos of the dental work I need done, but I already need substantial work, and things are getting worse.
Some impending needs
- Shoes: I purchased my daily-wear shoes in Beijing in August 2007—they have walked thousands of miles on four continents! But the holes in them will soon make them unwearable.
- Pants: I only have two pants, both are dress pants and dry-clean only. I should get one durable, daily wear pant. (I can’t carry more than three pants, so I only want one new pant.)
- 400? EGP—Prescription glasses, eye exam, frames, lenses, anti-glare, scratch resistant, and tax.
What am I doing right now?
Seriously: right now. The twitter feed below is to chronicle my actions, feelings, environment, obstacles, and accomplishments, so you can have a real-time view into my world.
Temporary financial help
Posted: 20 February 2014
Until I can heal enough to overcome my disabilities and get a new job, or until I can find other ways to earn an income (see above), I temporarily need some financial help.
Buy my photos
I have thousands of photos on Flickr and some of them are worthy of framing. You can purchase the right to have one or more of the photographs professionally printed. You choose the printer and framer and pay them directly so that you can control those costs. Simply pay me for the license to print the photograph.
Small, regular amounts help me to plan
Thank you!
Thank you for helping with small, regular donations because it makes it easier for me to change my focus from worrying about next week’s lodging to fixing my life. In addition to saying thank you, I am posting the list below so that people understand that I am not trying to get rich from this—I merely want to have the chance to heal and earn my own money.
Want anonymous giving?
If you want to help me financially but you do not want me to know your identity, I am sure there are multiple options. Two of the options are Gittip and Bitcoin (or Litecoin).
By default, even if I know your identity, I respect your privacy and do not announce your name without your permission.
| Friend | Help | Time | Comment |
|---|---|---|---|
| Joshua Bradford | US$2 | weekly | |
| Tom from Texas | US$40 | monthly | |
| Financial issues | |||
| Financial issues | |||
| One-time only | |||
| “i cancelled my reoccurring payment bc it wasnt changing how you felt about me” | |||
| Joy Nix | US$6 | weekly | |
| Friend | US$6 | weekly | |
| Cancelled | |||
| C, from Texas | US$2 | weekly | |
| Total | US$23.24 | weekly |
Dwolla
If you have a United States bank account, you can use Dwolla to send recurring help to me. The service fee is either free or only 25¢. If you sign up for Dwolla with this referral link, we both get $10 in transaction fee credits. Once you have a Dwolla account, you can schedule recurring help on my Dwolla hub page.
Gittip
I opened an account on Gittip. There are multiple advantages. First, you can see all donations I received. Second, donations are anonymous, even to me, so if you do not want anyone to know who you are, this is an option. (Bitcoin and other digitial currencies are anonymous, too.) Third, it is designed to be recurring. Fourth, the transaction fees are low or zero. There are two potential disadvantages. First, I have not tested or used it yet. Second, since I do not have a US bank account, there may be a delay or small fee before I get the money.
PayPal
Sources: Commodities as of 22 February 2014 and the average net worth of a country’s top 1%.
One-time help
Send to [email protected].
Sign up for Dwolla and we both get $10 in transaction fee credits.
