WEBVTT 00:00:00.060 --> 00:00:05.600 Warning! Never try to remove a mole yourself. 00:00:05.600 --> 00:00:15.630 If the mole is cancerous, then you might spread the cancer to other parts of your body. 00:00:15.630 --> 00:00:20.580 Another warning! Never try to remove a mole yourself. 00:00:20.580 --> 00:00:26.380 You will create a risk of infection. 00:00:26.380 --> 00:00:29.099 This video is not medical advice. 00:00:29.099 --> 00:00:34.500 I have to beg you for permission to live. 00:00:34.500 --> 00:00:49.030 To live, I have to play this game that benefits YouTube and Facebook and Amazon. 00:00:49.030 --> 00:00:53.910 Twitter. These huge companies! 00:00:53.910 --> 00:00:56.380 I can't get healthy unless they get their cut. 00:00:56.380 --> 00:01:00.750 You don't give a fuck if the entire fucking planet dies. 00:01:00.750 --> 00:01:06.009 You don't give a fuck if our species goes extinct. 00:01:06.009 --> 00:01:10.472 I've been doing this particular surgery for so long 00:01:10.472 --> 00:01:16.460 that there's just tons of coagulated blood, dried blood. 00:01:16.460 --> 00:01:18.964 It's fucked up. 00:01:29.806 --> 00:01:32.687 That's an idea. 00:01:33.372 --> 00:01:35.662 Ow. 00:01:37.268 --> 00:01:38.818 Major ow. 00:01:39.220 --> 00:01:43.500 It's not staying still. [sigh] 00:01:45.100 --> 00:01:48.610 Ah! It's ripped off. 00:01:48.610 --> 00:01:51.758 [sigh] I'm bored with this. 00:01:53.270 --> 00:01:56.387 Am I bored? I am kind of bored with this. 00:01:56.387 --> 00:01:57.866 Bored. Annoyed. 00:01:58.079 --> 00:02:03.850 I do like having the handle because I'm using this to help stabilize. 00:02:03.850 --> 00:02:06.310 And, I can push. 00:02:06.310 --> 00:02:13.390 I can use a lot of force, so I have a lot of precision—for me. 00:02:13.390 --> 00:02:16.050 More precision. More force. 00:02:16.475 --> 00:02:18.916 Okay. It's going to hurt. 00:02:18.916 --> 00:02:22.090 Accept the pain. 00:02:23.834 --> 00:02:25.949 There we go. 00:02:25.949 --> 00:02:26.949 Ow. 00:02:27.870 --> 00:02:31.390 That actually didn't hurt. I'm just pretending. 00:02:31.390 --> 00:02:36.103 I'm anticipating? I'm working with my brain. 00:02:36.103 --> 00:02:38.103 Okay. Ow. 00:02:38.670 --> 00:02:40.709 I think my vision is a problem. 00:02:43.000 --> 00:02:45.670 Yeah, okay, good. 00:02:45.670 --> 00:02:47.650 I think we're cutting. 00:02:47.650 --> 00:02:50.500 That looks like a cut. 00:02:50.500 --> 00:02:54.867 And... that feels like a cut. 00:02:55.829 --> 00:02:57.879 I don't think I'm cutting the right spot. 00:02:57.879 --> 00:03:02.469 Well, no, actually, maybe I am. 00:03:04.807 --> 00:03:05.916 Ah. 00:03:07.664 --> 00:03:11.670 Yeah, there we go. 00:03:11.670 --> 00:03:19.555 No, I was cutting the right spot, and I was cutting the wrong spot at the same time. 00:03:19.555 --> 00:03:24.467 Cutting too much because this blade is too big. 00:03:29.569 --> 00:03:31.808 Okay, I got something. 00:03:33.580 --> 00:03:35.194 What do I do with it? 00:03:36.000 --> 00:03:38.298 I didn't think of this part. 00:03:42.145 --> 00:03:47.959 When you get very close to mirrors, because there are actually two reflective surfaces, 00:03:47.959 --> 00:04:00.790 if you're looking at the mirror at an angle like I am, then you can get a double image, 00:04:00.790 --> 00:04:03.849 which I am seeing a double image. 00:04:03.849 --> 00:04:10.590 Add my astigmatism, which can also produce a double image. 00:04:10.795 --> 00:04:12.906 [laughing] 00:04:13.527 --> 00:04:16.700 And, it's kind of blurry sometimes. 00:04:16.700 --> 00:04:20.117 Or, I just can't really tell what's going on. 00:04:20.117 --> 00:04:27.137 And it's not always obvious to me if it's the mirror or if it's my eyes. 00:04:27.751 --> 00:04:31.789 If it's the mirror, then I can switch positions and things will improve. 00:04:31.789 --> 00:04:38.216 If it's my eyes, there's nothing I can do because I haven't got any fucking money. 00:04:41.240 --> 00:04:46.310 I have not owned prescription glasses now... 00:04:46.310 --> 00:04:48.133 [grunt in pain] 00:04:48.318 --> 00:04:50.046 [sigh] 00:04:51.274 --> 00:04:52.794 [quietly:] Yeah, fuck me. 00:04:52.794 --> 00:04:57.410 Since like... Since what? 2012. 00:04:58.000 --> 00:05:04.800 Nine years. Nine motherfucking years. I can't afford them. 00:05:11.900 --> 00:05:14.093 This does hurt. 00:05:16.161 --> 00:05:17.248 Ow. 00:05:17.424 --> 00:05:21.900 That helps with the double image. 00:05:22.643 --> 00:05:24.643 [sigh] 00:05:25.349 --> 00:05:27.349 [heavy sigh] 00:05:28.637 --> 00:05:37.103 One trick from knife sharpening is you take a permanent marker, and you mark 00:05:38.119 --> 00:05:42.763 the edge of the blade that you want to sharpen. 00:05:42.763 --> 00:05:48.592 Then you put the blade against the sharpening surface, whatever it is. 00:05:48.592 --> 00:05:55.122 And, if you are actually touching the part of the blade that you want to be sharpened, 00:05:55.122 --> 00:06:02.430 then you will grind off the ink of the permanent marker. 00:06:02.430 --> 00:06:13.599 It's a really clever trick for helping you to find very small defects in the blade and, 00:06:13.599 --> 00:06:22.652 most especially, for helping you to know that you are doing it correctly. 00:06:22.652 --> 00:06:24.321 [laughing] 00:06:24.321 --> 00:06:28.516 That you have a nice even stroke. 00:06:28.516 --> 00:06:34.982 If the permanent marker comes off, and it looks like a wave along the blade, then that 00:06:35.620 --> 00:06:41.390 means you are changing your angle as you move along. 00:06:41.390 --> 00:06:46.155 So, it's quite a clever trick. 00:06:46.155 --> 00:06:55.334 And, I thought about using that permanent marker on the mole. 00:06:55.334 --> 00:06:58.867 Not just circling the mole, but like marking on the mole. 00:06:58.867 --> 00:07:01.027 [laughing] 00:07:01.027 --> 00:07:02.759 To make... and... 00:07:02.759 --> 00:07:07.520 And that way, I would know at least I've cut off the surface part. 00:07:07.520 --> 00:07:16.430 But, I decided that the utility of that wasn't very good, especially because the blood would 00:07:16.430 --> 00:07:17.430 just make it... 00:07:17.430 --> 00:07:19.440 I thought the blood would make it difficult to see. 00:07:19.440 --> 00:07:25.936 Okay. And, I still think a permanent marker would be pretty low value. 00:07:26.952 --> 00:07:36.773 But now, I'm wondering about henna because it's a long-lasting dye 00:07:36.773 --> 00:07:40.092 that can go a little deeper. 00:07:40.305 --> 00:07:42.964 And I wonder if that's not a... 00:07:43.129 --> 00:07:45.160 I can't tell. 00:07:45.160 --> 00:07:46.944 [quietly:] I can't tell. 00:07:46.944 --> 00:07:56.043 ... if that's not a nice little trick for making sure you excise 00:07:56.043 --> 00:08:01.680 at least the surface area that you are hoping to excise. 00:08:02.273 --> 00:08:04.273 [sigh] 00:08:04.704 --> 00:08:09.334 It, of course, is not very good at depth. 00:08:13.114 --> 00:08:20.570 But right now, I am struggling because I am not sure if this little piece that's here 00:08:20.570 --> 00:08:24.190 on my skin is the result of me... 00:08:24.190 --> 00:08:31.681 Like, did I make this or is this still the mole? 00:08:32.579 --> 00:08:34.579 I don't know. 00:08:37.795 --> 00:08:41.180 [sigh] Okay. So, let's go from a different angle. 00:08:41.180 --> 00:08:46.852 I've cut from two angles, so let's cut from the third angle to make a triangle. 00:08:46.852 --> 00:08:50.605 God damn it! This is not easy when working on yourself. 00:08:50.605 --> 00:08:53.435 I am limited. Ah. 00:08:54.168 --> 00:09:00.488 There you go. There you go. There you go. 00:09:01.322 --> 00:09:03.322 [sigh] 00:09:03.511 --> 00:09:12.234 It's hard to get the 3-D orientation that I want. 00:09:14.898 --> 00:09:16.898 [hard breathing] 00:09:18.767 --> 00:09:21.100 I am cutting much wider than I want. 00:09:21.383 --> 00:09:23.513 [hard breathing] 00:09:29.153 --> 00:09:31.153 [to add extra oomph:] Huu-rah! 00:09:31.386 --> 00:09:34.183 Let's see if this will do it. 00:09:34.183 --> 00:09:40.509 This is how I imagined doing it when I was imagining the 00:09:40.509 --> 00:09:47.009 binder clip, which is not a good way anyway because it's very soft. 00:09:47.812 --> 00:09:49.667 Okay, I'm gonna try the scrape method. 00:09:50.027 --> 00:09:52.027 [hard breathing] 00:09:52.299 --> 00:09:58.407 [quietly:] I have no fucking clue. It's just blood and blood and blood. 00:09:58.501 --> 00:10:01.761 My back hurts from leaning over the sink. 00:10:01.762 --> 00:10:04.300 [hard breathing] 00:10:06.863 --> 00:10:13.270 Oh, by the way, caffeine is a vasoconstrictor. 00:10:13.743 --> 00:10:25.324 So, the caffeine I drank today should assist me a little bit with the bleeding. 00:10:25.324 --> 00:10:33.734 Scrape. Scrape. Scraping requires a lot of force. 00:10:36.799 --> 00:10:42.301 I think that's why I was not able to do it successfully the first two times I tried it. 00:10:42.301 --> 00:10:44.570 At least I don't think I was. 00:10:49.318 --> 00:10:56.467 You know, the first two times, that was over two years ago, so my memory of it is not great. 00:10:56.467 --> 00:10:58.050 I'm annoyed. 00:10:59.514 --> 00:11:02.359 I'm frustrated. I'm a little bored. 00:11:02.619 --> 00:11:05.654 I never get bored: it's very interesting. 00:11:06.292 --> 00:11:09.149 Maybe I'm not bored. Maybe it's other feelings. 00:11:09.149 --> 00:11:11.599 Like frustration with this. 00:11:11.599 --> 00:11:14.572 Frustration with the process. 00:11:15.243 --> 00:11:17.413 Frustration with my life. 00:11:17.413 --> 00:11:20.339 Anger at the world. 00:11:21.568 --> 00:11:28.501 And, frustration with the world for creating a system where this is actually a good idea. 00:11:29.116 --> 00:11:31.807 This is not a good idea! 00:11:32.090 --> 00:11:43.600 But, because of the bullshit inequality and assholes in the world, this is a good idea 00:11:43.600 --> 00:11:45.250 for me right now. 00:11:45.250 --> 00:11:48.020 And, that's just fucking stupid. 00:11:48.280 --> 00:11:51.717 Huh. I definitely have some of those emotions. 00:11:52.827 --> 00:11:54.639 Maybe I don't feel bored. 00:11:54.639 --> 00:12:05.470 Maybe I just feel angry and frustrated with my species. 00:12:07.549 --> 00:12:11.716 See? I'm touching it, hoping to be able to feel a bump or not bump. 00:12:12.850 --> 00:12:23.630 But, because my skin still feels, you know, still has functioning nerves, it is sending 00:12:23.630 --> 00:12:27.899 a lot of pain signal to my brain. 00:12:27.899 --> 00:12:37.360 And, you know, that signal sort of overrides the signal, the weaker signal, in my fingers 00:12:37.360 --> 00:12:41.470 because that's got to go through the glove, too. 00:12:41.470 --> 00:12:43.320 And differentiating... 00:12:43.320 --> 00:12:46.579 Because the site where I cut is painful. 00:12:46.579 --> 00:12:48.370 So is that... 00:12:48.370 --> 00:12:51.709 Does that mean there's a bump there or am I just feeling pain? 00:12:51.709 --> 00:12:56.021 It's actually quite difficult to discern. 00:12:56.021 --> 00:13:00.519 Okay, bitch, time to fucking die. 00:13:01.134 --> 00:13:05.502 I'm realizing I'm hesitating. Or, I hesitated a lot more in the beginning. 00:13:05.691 --> 00:13:09.061 I didn't think I was hesitating, but I was. 00:13:09.690 --> 00:13:12.399 Or I was restraining myself. 00:13:12.399 --> 00:13:15.100 That's maybe a better word than hesitating. 00:13:15.100 --> 00:13:16.110 Uh. 00:13:16.110 --> 00:13:22.579 ... because of uncertainty, which is fascinating to me at least. 00:13:24.000 --> 00:13:28.641 And really, that's what matters. 00:13:28.641 --> 00:13:31.600 I mean, fuck you. I don't give a fuck. 00:13:31.600 --> 00:13:38.570 I gotta make this fucking video so that I don't die. 00:13:38.570 --> 00:13:44.910 I have to beg you for permission to live. 00:13:44.910 --> 00:13:50.899 So, no, I really don't give a fuck about the stupid fucking system. 00:13:50.899 --> 00:14:03.269 To live, I have to play this game that benefits Yahoo. I'm... Not Yahoo! Fuck! 00:14:03.269 --> 00:14:09.230 YouTube and Facebook and Amazon. 00:14:09.230 --> 00:14:13.320 Twitter. These huge companies! 00:14:13.320 --> 00:14:17.199 I can't get healthy unless they get their cut. 00:14:17.199 --> 00:14:19.399 What the fuck, people? 00:14:19.399 --> 00:14:22.060 Stupid. It's just fucking stupid. 00:14:22.060 --> 00:14:26.380 So, just give me the money. 00:14:26.380 --> 00:14:31.400 I get healthy, and we all benefit. 00:14:31.400 --> 00:14:40.380 Instead, the only persons, legal persons, who are definitely benefiting from all this 00:14:40.380 --> 00:14:43.029 shit are the corporations. 00:14:43.029 --> 00:14:53.490 The massive motherfucking corporations that did shit like cause Brexit and get Donald 00:14:53.490 --> 00:15:01.470 Trump elected and promote the insurrection at the Capitol building. 00:15:01.470 --> 00:15:05.070 Those are the corporations that are benefiting. 00:15:05.070 --> 00:15:09.670 These are also... These corporations... they didn't help with COVID. 00:15:09.670 --> 00:15:10.950 They made COVID worse. 00:15:10.950 --> 00:15:16.750 And they are still a part of the problem, no matter what they motherfucking say. 00:15:16.750 --> 00:15:24.720 So this whole system, this way you guys are forcing me to go to heal: you are hurting 00:15:24.720 --> 00:15:29.300 yourself by forcing this to be the method. 00:15:29.300 --> 00:15:35.029 You're hurting yourself. You're hurting your family. You're hurting your friends. 00:15:35.029 --> 00:15:40.790 You're hurting future generations because you think this is a good idea. 00:15:40.790 --> 00:15:47.980 Eleven fucking years because you fuckers think this is a good system, because you fuckers 00:15:47.980 --> 00:15:56.130 don't wanna be pro-social. 00:15:56.130 --> 00:15:59.420 You don't give a fuck if the entire fucking planet dies. 00:15:59.420 --> 00:16:05.680 You don't give a fuck if our species goes extinct. 00:16:05.680 --> 00:16:07.529 Fucking morons. 00:16:07.529 --> 00:16:12.970 And I pay for your fucking stupidity. 00:16:12.970 --> 00:16:16.709 I can still feel this motherfucker! 00:16:16.709 --> 00:16:21.230 It might actually work. 00:16:25.434 --> 00:16:27.074 Fuck! 00:16:27.074 --> 00:16:29.538 Okay, here we go! Ouch! 00:16:29.538 --> 00:16:34.340 Motherfucker! Fucking fucking fuckity fuck! 00:16:34.340 --> 00:16:39.301 Fuuuuuuuuuck! 00:16:39.301 --> 00:16:45.851 It motherfucking hurts! Yeah. 00:16:46.067 --> 00:16:50.967 Ow! Fuck! Pickups. 00:16:54.436 --> 00:16:57.493 Okay, it's not completely removed. 00:16:57.493 --> 00:16:59.877 Fuck! It hurts! 00:17:03.279 --> 00:17:04.780 Ugh. 00:17:08.843 --> 00:17:13.343 Fuck. Ow. Fuck. 00:17:17.131 --> 00:17:20.141 Pickups. Pickups. 00:17:22.999 --> 00:17:27.418 Fuck. Get it. Get it, bitch. Get it. 00:17:27.418 --> 00:17:28.910 Tear it off. 00:17:28.910 --> 00:17:30.604 Fuck. Ow. 00:17:30.604 --> 00:17:33.086 Fuck, it huuuuuuuuurts! 00:17:33.770 --> 00:17:35.516 Shit. 00:17:40.713 --> 00:17:42.800 Yeah, get off. 00:17:42.800 --> 00:17:45.950 Fuck! 00:17:46.132 --> 00:17:49.282 Hmm. 00:17:50.067 --> 00:17:53.207 Ow! 00:17:54.526 --> 00:17:58.959 [agony] 00:17:59.569 --> 00:18:01.569 Hoo-ahh! 00:18:06.690 --> 00:18:09.404 It feels much better. 00:18:09.404 --> 00:18:11.284 By "feel," I mean with my finger. 00:18:11.780 --> 00:18:16.710 I don't... I'm not saying I have relief on my skin. 00:18:16.710 --> 00:18:20.910 What I was perceiving as a bump is either gone or greatly reduced. 00:18:20.910 --> 00:18:23.460 Do you think the increased blood is a good sign? 00:18:23.460 --> 00:18:25.710 I think it is. 00:18:28.356 --> 00:18:36.000 I think it suggests that I removed more of it than I had removed. 00:18:38.140 --> 00:18:40.393 It's slickery. Slippery. 00:18:40.393 --> 00:18:45.880 Ow. Go, go go, go, go, go! 00:18:45.995 --> 00:18:47.995 Owwwwwwww! 00:18:49.140 --> 00:18:51.660 Holy shit, that fucking hurts! 00:18:51.660 --> 00:18:53.520 Come on, bitch! 00:18:53.520 --> 00:18:57.950 Holy fuck, that fucking fuckity fuck! 00:18:59.296 --> 00:19:04.734 Your gonna die! I'm gonna fuck cut you out! Come on, motherfucker! 00:19:06.880 --> 00:19:08.658 Oh yeah. 00:19:10.453 --> 00:19:12.000 Come on. 00:19:12.963 --> 00:19:15.670 Fucking double vision. 00:19:18.000 --> 00:19:21.926 All right, come on. Come on, bitch. 00:19:21.926 --> 00:19:28.067 And, scrape this way. Scrape that way. And, scrape this way! 00:19:35.710 --> 00:19:40.310 Yeah, bitch. Yeah, bitch. 00:19:40.310 --> 00:19:41.807 Holy fuck! 00:19:42.573 --> 00:19:44.573 [hemostat unsnaps] [agony] 00:19:46.602 --> 00:19:51.192 I hate my life. 00:19:52.846 --> 00:19:55.752 I tried to improve the lives of others, 00:19:56.980 --> 00:19:58.763 and I got punished for it. 00:19:58.763 --> 00:20:01.840 I'm honest, and I continually get punished for it. 00:20:02.478 --> 00:20:04.870 It's a fucked-up planet. 00:20:06.405 --> 00:20:09.405 And we are a fucked-up species. 00:20:09.688 --> 00:20:14.231 I've been doing this particular surgery for so long that 00:20:14.231 --> 00:20:20.470 there's just tons of coagulated blood, dried blood. 00:20:20.470 --> 00:20:23.401 It's fucked up. It shouldn't be like that. 00:20:26.900 --> 00:20:29.105 It's because I don't know what the... 00:20:30.144 --> 00:20:31.809 It's because I'm not a surgeon. 00:20:32.093 --> 00:20:33.377 I don't have training. 00:20:33.377 --> 00:20:37.251 I have some experience, which is stupid that I have experience. 00:20:37.251 --> 00:20:41.480 I don't have the right tools, not the contemporary tools. 00:20:41.480 --> 00:20:44.367 These are the tools of 100 years ago. 00:20:44.367 --> 00:20:46.367 [exciting music] 00:20:46.368 --> 00:20:48.817 Wait, you enjoyed watching this? 00:20:48.817 --> 00:20:52.934 Then, you'll enjoy my tumor surgery even more. 00:20:52.935 --> 00:20:55.500 More fun is incoming. 00:20:56.550 --> 00:21:01.890 I need 31 days of rent support. 00:21:01.890 --> 00:21:09.660 Let's end my homelessness, cure my disability, and return me to self-sufficiency. 00:21:09.660 --> 00:21:13.010 Be pro-social. Join Patreon. 00:21:13.010 --> 00:21:15.600 Become a member of my YouTube channel.